又是大女兒的生日

我知道無論我解釋多少遍，我身邊的人都會說我偏愛大女兒，到現在我已懶得為自己辯護了。我只能說，頭生的往往對生活方式和價值觀帶來較大的衝擊，所以一切有關她的事情，相片錄像也會多拍一些，印象也自然較深刻了。

這也是我850張電腦桌布中其中一張至愛（也是老婆的favorite），是2003年八月在女兒契媽家拍的，活像一張唱片封面照。

不得不承認自己年紀已經大了，記憶力正在衰退（我自認記憶力不錯），九年來有很多和女兒相處的片段，她的一顰一笑都像在fading out，唯有靠一些照片和她的功課提醒自己。

大女兒是個書獃子，可以拿著書本讀上大半天仍不願釋卷。這本圖畫百科全書是她仍在媽媽肚裡面的時候，我在商場展銷攤位買的。記得當時太太還說用得著那麼早買嗎？後來每次她將這本書翻給坐在自己懷中的大女兒看，大女兒都總會看得眉飛色舞。

我和太太都知道大女兒最想得到的生日禮物，是再去一次Disneyland（她說或許可以去美國的那一個！），不然的話由她自己挑選一件玩具，已經可以令她心滿意足。小妮子雖然一向是個有要求的人，但從來都不心頭高，不會輕易花錢（接近吝嗇的程度），也不會向我們要求太貴的東西，這是我和太太都感到安慰的。今年我買給她的生日禮物，是早在個多前已經看中的，不過是小書一本：Questions to bring you closer to your dad: 100+ conversation starters for fathers and children of any age。

自去年年底別了同窗，接著兩位弟兄姊妹的父親相繼離世，深感死亡原來可以跟我們那麼接近，實在有點吃不消。或許這就是為甚麼我毫不考慮便買下了這本書的原因吧！作者在序言中的一段話也著實窩心：

I expected that Dad would live forever. My father had served our country in two major wars... But he did not live forever. Had I known that he was not going to live long enough to see me graduate... or see me get married and have children -- had I known all of that... I would have asked him a lot of questions...
　　This book is a list of questions that I wish I had thought to ask my dad. I am sorry that I did not -- I never even imagined that it would be necessary.

書裡面有些問題我也層回答過了，例如：

How did life change for you when I was born?
How did you and Mom decide on my name?
What is one thing I have done that has made you proud of me?
How do you think we're alike? How do you think we're different?

當然還有很多日後可以讓她自己親自問我的問題：

What accomplishment in your life are you proudest of?
What traditions that are important to you do you wish we'd continue, and why?
What one or two things would you want me to be certain of, to know, or to understand as I go through life?
How do you handle disappointment? What example can you give me so that I can be better prepared when I have to face it?
How did you first meet Mom?
What can you share about your first date?
What is it about Mom that makes you love her so much?
What was the one main thing that you wanted me to be better at than you were?
Were there times when my accomplishments did not match your expectations?

How do you want to be remembered? 相信這裡每一篇blog也可以是她將來憶記我的好地方吧！

Happy birthday, my dearest KK!