舒特拉的遺憾

連續第二次了！不單止禽流感和SARS，原來寫blog都可以交叉感染！今天這篇blog，再一次是由Camus給我前天的blog的comment所引發的。借用學子的一句：「真係blog blog趣！」

Camus在他給我的comment中，認為我信主以來必定帶領過不少人信主，所以應該沒有遺憾。

【由Itzhak Perlman拉出充滿哀愁的小提琴調子，隨隨響起...】

我想你必定看過史畢堡的Schindler's List（舒特拉的名單）吧？舒特拉本來薪家豐厚，與納粹高官關係亦非常密切，本來大有條件發其戰爭財，亦可大灑金錢來滿足其花花公子的性格，但他發現人生命的可貴，決定捨棄了個人本來所要追求滿足自己的東西，不惜傾家蕩產來賄賂納粹官員來換取猶太勞工，為了要保住他們的性命。到二次大戰結速，德國戰敗了，身為納粹黨員的舒特拉卻要面對接受審訊而準備逃亡。在他離開他一手建立的軍器工廠和千多名被他買贖回來的猶太勞工前，他跟他的猶太裔助手Stern有這樣一段對話：

Schindler: I could have got more out. I could have got more. I don't know. If I'd just... I could have got more.

Stern: Oskar, there are eleven hundred people who are alive because of you. Look at them.
Schindler: If I'd made more money... I threw away（浪費了）so much money. You have no idea. If I'd just...
Stern: There will be generations because of what you did.
Schindler: I didn't do enough!
Stern: You did so much.
[Schindler looks at his car]
Schindler: This car. Goeth（濫殺猶太人的納粹軍官，亦是舒特拉的同胞好友）would have bought this car. Why did I keep the car? Ten people right there. Ten people. Ten more people.
[removing Nazi pin from lapel]
Schindler: This pin. Two people. This is gold. Two more people. He would have given me two for it, at least one. One more person. A person, Stern. For this.
[sobbing]
Schindler: I could have gotten one more person... and I didn't! And I... I didn't!

我每次看到這裡，我的鼻子都會發酸！

不錯，我曾經帶領過不止一人信主，兼且的確是無憾。但就像舒特拉一樣，無論你帶過多少人歸主，當你回望自己的人生時，你永遠會感到不足夠，你永遠會想：自己其實可以領更多人歸主的，都是從前浪費了太多時間在其它事情上... 我也頗肯定，到自己離開世界的那天，自己仍然會這樣想。

舒特拉由Liam Neeson（左）飾演。演不可一世的納粹軍官Amon Goeth的，是我很愛看的Ralph Fiennes（中）；史畢堡的Dreamworks的首部動畫《埃及王子》裡面摩西的死對頭法老便是由他配音（其實他也在一套泥膠動畫中給耶穌配過音！）。演舒特拉助手Itzhak Stern的則是曾演過聖雄甘地的前度影帝Ben Kingsley（右）。

說起這套電影，它裡面還有另一個不得不提及的絕好概念：let go / forgiving is power。舒特拉跟他這位以為可以喜歡殺便殺、想殺便殺、視猶太人生命如糞土、在他面前擁有莫大權力的納粹軍官朋友Amon Goeth在「摸酒杯底」，趁他有點酒意，大家亦談得興起時，舒特拉跟他討論甚麼才是真真正正的權力或能力：

Schindler: Power is when we have every justification to kill, and we don't.
Goeth: You think that's power?
Schindler: That's what the Emperor said. A man steals something, he's brought in before the Emperor, he throws himself down on the ground. He begs for his life, he knows he's going to die. And the Emperor... pardons him. This worthless man, he lets him go.
Goeth: I think you are drunk.
Schindler: That's power, Amon. That is power.

想一想，誰在你心中應該和需要被判死刑？面對他，你會怎樣運用你的power?