企業家的妙論
上星期往海南島公幹,認識了一位前上市公司主席、由香港往該島投資發展的企業家。平日寓娛樂於工作,過著半退休的生活,談笑風生,常常發表著自己對男女關係、婚姻和教養兒女的看法,縱是「歪理」但畢竟是他半生人以來經驗的總結和心德:
男人找女朋友或老婆首選來自日本韓國的,國內的則以蘇杭為首選,潮州為次,香港的女生則要避之則吉!日韓女性順從男人,蘇杭專門出產美女天下皆知。潮州女仕們能捱罵捱打之餘又勤勞,君不見潮州男人都不作事,都是女性幹活的嗎?潮州男人對女仕們說話都是粗聲粗氣,動不動便出手的。香港女性嗎?我想你都聽過有關香港女性地位和權利都是亞洲之冠,那要了她們是不是男人之苦?
女的找男朋友或老公則以香港為首選,星加坡為次,上海的再其次。香港和星加坡的男人最尊重女性,或說成是「怕老婆」,那為甚麼星加坡的是次一等?因為他說星加坡的男人多帶了一點娘娘腔。(這個我不清楚。)至於在上海,到街市買菜或在家中燒飯的都是男仕,你說上海女人有多嘆!(這個我也不清楚。)但縱然上海男人愛獃在家中做飯燒菜,不要讓他們長期做這些雞毛算皮的事情,因為終日做這些小事的男人不懂做大事。
男人一是不結婚,結婚者應最少娶三個太太,但不要在不同地方娶,要將他們放在同一地方。一天不結婚,男人還有絕對自由換女朋友,大條道理貪新忘舊。要結婚便應多取幾個,才可以維持一家之主的大男人地位。不要取兩個老婆,因為她們只會叫你左右為難。取至三四個,你便可任由她們為了爭寵而拼個妳死我活,而你就可以左右前後任君選擇,張藝謀的《大紅燈籠高高掛》已經說明得淋灕盡至。
與其見自己兒子學壞,不如由自己來從小教壞他,讓他知道甚麼是壞,好的由他自己慢慢來學。
教女兒則最重要有二:
1. 不要罵她,免得將來她做錯甚麼或遇見甚麼困難都不回來跟妳說,那你便只有對她一無所知。做父母的要成為她的知己。
2. 找機會灌醉她,好讓她知道醉的感覺,將來她在外面跟人喝酒便會自己有分寸。最好能練大她的酒量,更要教曉她如何扮醉,那她便能分辨誰想佔她便宜,誰是真心尊重她了。(哈!這個我倒要試試!)遇著心儀的男生,她更可調過來扮醉引誘他上當...
為女兒好,不要讓她讀那麼多書,免得將來她看不起老公,或為一個不爭氣的老公激氣。女子無才便是德,不單止,女子無才更快樂!
要讓老婆覺得你愛她,要將甚麼生日、拍拖紀念、結婚周年等統統忘掉,然後趁她沒有預期下找個「無厘拿耕」的日子送禮物給她,她的驚喜才是最大。
結婚初期做老公的應該凡事「企硬」,最好還天天罵老婆,到大家人到中年或甚至兩鬢斑白沒好氣再罵的時候,老婆便會想:「從前他一星期七天都罵我,現在卻只罵我三五天,你說他是不是越來越愛我?」
簡而清是這位企業家的其中一位偶像,是懂得享受人生的表表者。
金庸是這位企業家一位更大的偶像。他收藏了所有金庸的小說(當然包括那以取了七個老婆的韋小寶作主角的《鹿鼎記》),大大小小套裝平裝精裝等不下十多個版本都有,熟讀就當然不在話下,說當中含有莫大的人生智慧。
好了,女仕們,罵還罵,不要罵錯人,上面的可不是我的看法呢!
在result-oriented的大氣候下,對一個事業這麼成功的人來說,畢竟對自己的看法已經信心爆膨,你也否定不倒他那裡去。又或這樣說,有一位能接受這看法的女人在他身後,男人或許真的可以對事業全身投入,造就了他的成功。在關鍵時刻卻想著要回家慰妻的男人,事業的成功或許不屬於他。又或我閱人能力太低,根本不懂分辨他在說真還是說笑,唯有當笑話聽聽算了吧!
企業家雖然身家億萬,但倒沒有半點架子,閒來他說會到附近的海灘跟當地的青少年人一塊兒弄潮。我來到海灘看見水清沙幼,一望無際的水平線,都叫我心花怒放,更想跳下水裡一試,可惜只是公幹...
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6 Comments:
係呀,我二叔既老婆就係韓國人,睇佢個款又真係幾千依百順架,而我阿婆則完全貫徹左潮州人「捱罵捱打又勤勞」既典範,不過時代已經變左喇,可能學你話齋香港男人懂得尊重女性啦,我阿爸完全俾我阿媽食住,而家掛係各姨丈同我爸爸口中既係「潮州女人好惡」,「捱罵捱打」之名徹底被粉碎,其實我話惡既係香港女人,阿媽藉貫係潮州就入左數落潮州人度。
其實香港人既身份真係好混亂,有時又答人香港人,有時就算自己係香港出世,當俾人問到邊度人「屎」都會答潮州人呀上海人呀咁,亂晒龍。
係播,我都無諗過如果香港男人取左日韓女生會點,又或者香港女生嫁俾潮州佬又會點... 原來都要睇下對couple響邊度住,俾D乜野culture同化。任你幾咁大男人,黎到香港一樣要縮細變成小男人俾女人踩住;任妳本來幾咁小女人,響香港嫁人一樣可以吐氣揚眉!有趣有趣!
你講既港人身份混亂真係好真。我地上一代響大陸變色後落左黎,努力建設香港,對香港有左感情,就會當呢度係自己屋企,對後黎第二批偷渡落黎既人會叫佢地做「表叔」,「亞燦」,好似有少少睇唔起人,唔記得左自己其實都係上面落黎咁。家陣踢世界盃,香港人都會揀球隊黎認同,無得擁自己隊波,就揀中國,無中國就揀日本韓國(如果佢地贏波就話係我地亞洲之光...)、無日韓就揀英格蘭、巴西、阿根廷乜都岩。總之響後現代,文化身份就好似超級市場陳列出黎既貨品一樣,任君選擇,唔駛理自己係咪真係同佢有乜野「拿耕」。
When Dan crave some "submission" from his wife,i.e., me, I always told him he should marry a Japanese woman. No kidding, they are so much more submissive then us Hong Kong girls. My best friend in Taiwan went to Japan for her internship while doing her MBA degree from Harvard. She said she had to wash all the guys' coffee mugs every morning. It does not matter if that guy is under her leadership or not, she is a woman and she does the washing!
I remember when I was studying in Taiwan (they were under the Japanese control for over 50 years), only the most courageous Taiwanese guys would dare to come near us Hong Kong girls. One guy I remember told me that his parents own a video store and has all the Hong Kong videos that I would want to watch, so I won't be bored if I married him and stayed in Taiwan. What a nice proposal! Though they don't say it out loud, I know some of our Taiwanese female classmates loved to be a Hong Kong guy's wife, and our Hong Kong guy classmates had quite a number of pretty Taiwanese girls to choose from, therefore, they are pretty stuck to themselves since they got all the attention. As for us Hong Kong girls, we know what the reality was and we dealt with it. Unfortunately, the few Taiwanese guys who are courageous to come near us were not as bright as we hoped, like the one that I encountered.
So far, I have to say that guys from Hong Kong are the most gentleman-like, that I can vow. Good job, all you guys from Hong Kong, keep it up.
> they were under the Japanese control for
> over 50 years
我看過候孝賢的《悲情城市》,強烈感受二次大戰時期台灣的濃厚日式文化,與及女性的地位和角式跟港式的有多大分別。我印象最深刻的,便是有一幕一眾男人(包括梁朝偉飾演的林文清)坐下來(應該說是日本式地跪下來)聊天,女的只坐在一旁負責給男人端茶,默不作聲,兼且半個人已經在鏡頭之外 —— 候孝賢就是用這樣有力的視覺語言來描寫當時毫不重要的女性地位。
> only the most courageous Taiwanese guys
> would dare to come near us Hong Kong girls.
> One guy I remember told me that his parents
> own a video store and has all the Hong Kong
> videos that I would want to watch, so I
> won't be bored if I married him and stayed
> in Taiwan.
Tell me, Amy, how many offer(s) did you received in those days? (ha!)
> I know some of our Taiwanese female
> classmates loved to be a Hong Kong guy's
> wife, and our Hong Kong guy classmates had
> quite a number of pretty Taiwanese girls to
> choose from
唏!早知當年我也叫爸媽送我到台灣念書啦!以我這樣的條件,沒有兩個也最少有一個台灣女生會在我身旁打轉吧!?(學下企業家個套先...)
> So far, I have to say that guys from Hong
> Kong are the most gentleman-like, that I
> can vow.
So after all, how does guys from the States like Dan compared to HK guys?
-----
香港女性響East-meets-West既文化薰討之下,識晒乜野時候做小女人嗲下男人?男人「落踏」,乜野時候發揮女人獨立自主既本色,叫男人都要低聲下氣拜倒石榴裙下 —— 呢個就係主動submit響男人之下同無奈聽命於男人既分別勒。呀!呢個係咪好似我地究竟係無奈submit響神既權威底下定係信耶穌脫離罪既捆縛,主動投奔做神既奴僕咁?係自由釋放同屈服神權既分別。可唔可以咁比喻呢?
家下大家都話企業家講既野咁真,就證明佢D歪理幾利害,就係好似Dan Brown套《達文西密碼》咁,識得溝埋D真既現像同虛構既野,令到佢地D歪理咁有說服力...
There were a few marriage "offers" when I was studying in Taiwan. However, I turned them all down telling them I had no intention of leaving Hong Kong. It was strange that they would skip the "dating" process and proposed after spotting me on campus. I even got a guy's mother asking me to be her daughter-in-law, that's a bit too much. Ha! God is humourous, isn't he? He brought me back to Hong Kong, so that I could get to know his saving grace through you. Then out of the blue, Dan came along, and I left Hong Kong afterall. I guess if those guys found out I don't live in Hong Kong anymore, they would call me a lier.
Hong Kong guys are more gentleman-like in general than U.S. guys. Dan explains that because of the feminism, a guy might easily offend a lady if he offers help in any way shape or form. The lady might think that the guy looks at her as "weak", therefore, offers help. So guys only offer help when they are secure in their relationship with the female. I don't know if that is just an excuse or if it is the truth. The bottom line is, it is not a good practise.
Skipping the "dating" may be a usual Japanese practice. Who knows?
I know about feminism, which I spent some time studying when I was back to the PolyU years ago -- fascinating topic, although readings like those of Judith Butler's did give me a headache. 其中一段時期女性主義的支持者以為樣樣事情做到男女相同便相等於男女平等,所以對有風度的男仕幫助她們顯得很敏感,以為這樣代表自己的女性身份被看不起云云(the weaker sex)... 香港女生才沒有那麼笨!
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